A Few Good Habits
It’s amazing how doing
something good can be like shooting yourself in the foot. Try
developing a habit and you will see frustration or pain at its finest.
I’ve always been led to believe
that the magic number of days for something to potentially become a habit was
around 21 but all the research I am finding seems to disagree. It’s actually 60 days. Sixty-six to be exact – according to the UK
If you think about it … when we make those bad habits – it’s generally because there’s something in it for us … something instantaneous. On the other hand, it seems to take forever to get that good habit thing going - generally involves a whole lot of work on our part. Re-training your brain isn't an easy thing. I'm told that missing the odd time here and there is not the end of the world when starting a new habit - get back on track and keep on keeping on!
If you think about it … when we make those bad habits – it’s generally because there’s something in it for us … something instantaneous. On the other hand, it seems to take forever to get that good habit thing going - generally involves a whole lot of work on our part. Re-training your brain isn't an easy thing. I'm told that missing the odd time here and there is not the end of the world when starting a new habit - get back on track and keep on keeping on!
From personal experience - one
of the toughest things about developing good habits is getting started. I have a tendency to overthink things - do I really need to put a dozen things into place before getting started – don't think so. A few parameters and we are set to go. Too many plans really only sabotage it. Create enough road blocks and nothing gets
started. Though, you do want to incorporate some
thought into the planning or chances are you won’t follow through.
Because we are such a busy
generation … life tends to be done on the fly.
That’s ok for some things but if you want to make a serious attempt at
being organized and slowing down some of the stresses in your life … you have
to be willing to put some effort into changing a few things.
We have enough stresses … why not try to manage what we can. It’s amazing how a few good habits can make
our life noticeably better. For instance
…
. Leaving for your destination ten minutes before you have to – arriving on
time (or a couple minutes early) and with a good disposition goes a long way to starting your day out right.
I know kids sure appreciate it when Mom isn’t screaming her head off at them or the
guy in the next car.
. Training yourself to put your credit and bank cards back
in the same place, every time you use them. Ever find yourself in the longest check
out line with the fullest grocery cart, only to realize you can’t find your bank
card? Oh, my - aren't we a popular gal with the 20 people behind us.
. Checking the calendar every night (as Martha says – “It’s a good thing!”) Who
wants to be informed as you are walking out the door at 8 a.m. that today was the day your child was to bring in cupcakes for the
class party. Been there.
Another biggie is deciding what
to make a habit. Not everything we come
up needs to be an every day habit and seriously do we really want to waste 66
days developing a habit that only marginally improves our lifestyle?
The reasoning behind making something a habit has to make sense. The whole premise to developing a habit is
that it somehow is a good thing for us.
Pretty simple. Ask yourself if it's worth the hassle. If not, re-think your choices. Don't try to do too many at once ... could get a little confusing for a while. A couple - max. - and then see how it goes.
Making things a habit generally
involves some kind of a prompt or a cue.
For instance … I have been terrible about remembering to take my Vitamins and Calcium
pills. Since I need to take them twice a
day – I have started linking them up with brushing my teeth. That actually has worked well. I keep 2 colourful little containers by my
toothbrush. Every night before bed I fill
them both with my next day’s pills. At the end of the day, I can see if I’ve
forgotten them. The same with drinking enough water. I plan that at the top of every hour, I drink
a glass of water. If I get busy and miss
an hour here and there, that’s not a big deal – there are enough hours in the
day that I generally find that I can fill my quota easily enough.
One habit I am working on is
not putting my keys anywhere except in the basket by the door. Not in my pocket, not on a chair, not next to
the mail on the kitchen counter, and not in the abyss known as my purse … but
in the flippin key basket. As I’ve said
in a previous post – you know the chaos that erupts when you need to be
somewhere at a set time and the keys are nowhere to be seen. I think this silly habit may very well take
me the full 66 days! It’s like those
things have a mind of their own. Ah, but
the day it becomes automatic … that will be an amazing day!
Don’t set yourself up to fail ––
try your best to avoid going where or doing what is problematic for you. You may have to come up with Plan B, if you
find you are constantly sabotaging yourself. Give it your best shot, though - don't give up without really making an effort. Sometimes we give up on hard things too easily. We can find enough reasons or even excuses, if we really want to avoid doing something. If worse comes to worse, give it a break and try a different habit. It's not like we don't have any of those kicking around in the wings, right?
Plan B
Ok – then we are all set to go,
huh? May I say … plan for it to be
hard at first. Plan for yourself to fail a few
times. It happens. Remember – you are
doing life here … messing up occasionally is a fact of life. Write your habit down (maybe in several places).
I'm thinking my little journal I carry with me or on my phone, are good places. It’s amazing how quickly you forget
something that doesn’t come easy. Have a
prompt or a cue for yourself. Make a few guidelines. Circle it on your calendar (Day 1 and Day 66)
and give it your best shot. Don’t wait until Monday or the beginning of the
month – get started immediately.
Some people reward themselves
at the end but honestly, for me … achieving the habit is reward enough in
itself. Some time back, I recall reading
about a study they did with people at a coffee shop. It was one of those places
that gave out “loyalty cards”. They
punched it every time you bought a drink.
You had to purchase X amount of drinks for a freebie of some sort at
the end. Some people were given a card
that actually had two more spots on it than the others. On those
specific cards, however, the first two spots were already pre-punched. Both cards really amounted to the same thing, but with one, it looked like you got a head start.
In the end, those that had
the pre-punched cards ended up actually achieving their goal, while most of the
others rarely handed their cards in for their freebie. Why is that?
The thinking is that when the customers thought they were "ahead" they felt encouraged or prompted to try harder – their goal was within sight.
So don’t get discouraged – just know that as you approach the end – your
habit, too, will become easier and easier.
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