If you've ever played
cards, you know that often, anything can happen.
With some games, it's just how the cards are distributed that determine the winner. Other games, you have to figure out what to do with what you are dealt. Sometimes, one bad decision can mess up your hand and it’s all over. Sometimes, you can bluff your way to a win. The game can just be plain frustrating - it's not always easy to know how someone is going to play their hand - some people are just not easy to read.
Life is kind of like that. There are days you wake up and everything goes just as it should. Then, there are days when nothing you do seems to go right. You feel like stomping your feet, wishing you were alone on an island, or screaming as loud as you can and smashing every plate in the house (ok - maybe that's just me).
Or maybe, you've felt like you just can't get a handle on your life, you're tired and feeling like you've been through the wringer washer. Nothing ever seems to change or looks like it ever will.
Mom spent many a day in the basement, feeding the soapy clothes through the rollers of her wringer washer. She'd drain the tub and soak them again in clean water and finish up re-feeding it all again through the rollers. If she was lucky, she might not catch her rings or hand in the rollers. Very painful. If you've ever seen the clothes that came out of those rollers, you'd be impressed that anything could ever be that flat. Those rollers squeezed virtually every drop of water out of the garment. The pancake flat clothes were then shaken out and then hung outside to dry. Through out all this tedius and thankless work, Mom never complained. I am sure that she felt that she didn't have many options back then, so what was the point of complaining about what you can't change. Good point, Mom! Laundry needed to get done - plain and simple.
These days, we do have options. Probably more than we could ever imagine. Just go back in time and you can appreciate how many choices technology has given us today.
Recently, I heard a song, Options by Gomez. Quirky band and quirky song but interesting lyrics and fun beat, though kinda cheesy :) YouTube it sometime.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYApHEUCs8s
It seems that when we are overwhelmed, whether it be with our finances, job, marriage, kids, extended family, etc. we often feel backed into a corner. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when the stress keeps piling up.
I am always so amazed when I hear stories of people who have undergone horrific experiences or receive heartbreaking and devastating news. I know some wonderful people like this, who inspite of their situations, manage to keep on moving ahead in their daily walk. How can that be?
From what I can tell, a common thread seems to be a positive attitude. Not to say they don't get down and depressed from time to time, but they refuse to stay down.
The cynic might well say, "Well, what's that going to get you? That and 50 cents will buy you a cup of coffee." That well-known idiom pretty much translates into - what a waste of time. There is no end of people that will agree with that statement. I've probably said it myself in my darkest moments, but I've since learned to think differently. Now, I can truthfully say . . . you go right ahead and think that but my experiences have been teaching me . . . "We DO have options . . . we may not like them or they may not look like we thought they would but they are there, none the less."
Often, someone else's perspective can make the world of difference. I can't tell you how many times I have been in a situation (stewing on it) and have, out of frustration, simply asked my husband, "What do you think? What would you do? or Why do you think they are doing that? or What is going on?" Sometimes, the answer is right in front of my face, but I can't see it for all the stress.
I don't always like his suggestions but often they make great sense or just get me thinking. That has often led to some significant changes - and very positive ones, I'd like to add. Whichever approach I take, it eventually becomes apparent that, "Oh, wow - I'm not without some choices, here."
Not everyone has great advice or even any advice, but sometimes just talking about it out loud with someone can remind you that there are people out there that care about you. That can be huge for lots of people - trying to handle something on your own and feeling like you can't see the trees for the forest (code for being so focused on the details that you lose sight of the big picture).
It's always hard to see people going through tough times alone and refusing a helping hand. We don't have all the answers but there's something reassuring about having a shoulder or a listening ear. I know there are a boat load of people who just won't share their struggles with another living soul (and that sometimes comes with good cause). Men often fit into this category. It can be hard or even embarrasing to make oneself vulnerable. Tough road to travel alone.
It may not always
have been some
people's experience,
but for me, my faith has been key to how I deal with tough situations. It has been very reassuring for me, especially when things have made me anxious beyond belief. Time spent in prayer has made me realize, I do have options. Things became clear in ways that might never have occurred to me otherwise.
Seeing a therapist or joining a support group are other practical ways that people have received help to make sense out of the nonsensical. Insightful books, friends going through similar situations, speaking to specialists that deal with the areas of the concern, etc. can be helpful tools. It's easy to get in a headspace where we feel incredibly alone in our situation - but chances are very good that many others have gone through something similar.
Some of my friends with terminal illnesses have shared that in their difficult journey, they have learned a lot about themselves, their options, and how to adapt their thinking to their situation. Many have experienced deep grief for what they no longer had or would have. They've developed an appreciation for things that most people take for granted (or complain about). One person told me, "There are worst things in the world than dying. Being alone and feeling no one cares is horrible. I'm grateful that is not me. I have a ton of caring friends and family. I feel sorry for those people. I don't feel sorry for me." Interesting perspective.
One of my sisters works for Victims Services. They provide hands on support for those undergoing a crisis as a result of an accident, suicide, or other kinds of tragic events. She arrives at the scene (often in the wee hours of the morning) with an RCMP officer and stays in contact with the victim or the family until they feel they no longer have need of her services. This can take a very long time for some. Often, those going through traumatic situations experience a wide range of emotions and having someone like my sister, to step in and walk along side them as they work through their grief is incredible. Not knowing what to do when your mind is numb is especially stressful - having someone who is experienced with the legal/court system, counselling services and other resources, or makes themselves available even to talk or vent, is important. Support, whether it's offered or sought out, can be a huge step on the path to finding closure. My sister's job is not to "fix" the situation, but to help the victims and/or their families take time to find the brick's to rebuild their lives. It is important to empower them so they can move forward and try to re-gain control of their lives again.
Hopefully, you will feel encouraged to see that you have options and can move forward, inspite of your situation, rather than feel you are forever backed into a corner with no choices.
Maybe, having options really can be about changing our perspective (or attitude). There was a time, when I wouldn't have believed that or appreciated hearing that, but I've come to discover over time, sometimes, it's just that simple. Maybe not easy, but simple. Over-thinking things has been the ruin of many a situation.
"Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses."
Alphonse Karr
I certainly don't want to undermine anyone's situation . . . everyone has their journey. What is a concern to one, may not be a big deal to another. However, that doesn't diminish its importance. Some things in life are often not easy or clear cut - for those struggling with mental illness, having a strong support system is important.
Someone once told me, "When the situation seems unbearable, run!" I thought she meant run from the problem - but she actually meant, RUN.
Her experience was that intense exercise could be very therapeutic - sitting around fretting,
eventually drains you and keeps you from going anywhere - physically and mentally. I imagine, it doesn't have to be just running - anything that gets you really moving . . . swimming, power walking, bouncing on a rebounder, etc. can be yet another helpful tool.
Food for Thought:
Worry is a lot like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but takes you nowhere.
Erma Bombeck
Thinking you never have options, is a little the same. While there is a time and a place for the rocker, eventually you need to get off of it and strap on those walking shoes. You've got places to go and things to work out!
See you next week!
Or maybe, you've felt like you just can't get a handle on your life, you're tired and feeling like you've been through the wringer washer. Nothing ever seems to change or looks like it ever will. Mom spent many a day in the basement, feeding the soapy clothes through the rollers of her wringer washer. She'd drain the tub and soak them again in clean water and finish up re-feeding it all again through the rollers. If she was lucky, she might not catch her rings or hand in the rollers. Very painful. If you've ever seen the clothes that came out of those rollers, you'd be impressed that anything could ever be that flat. Those rollers squeezed virtually every drop of water out of the garment. The pancake flat clothes were then shaken out and then hung outside to dry. Through out all this tedius and thankless work, Mom never complained. I am sure that she felt that she didn't have many options back then, so what was the point of complaining about what you can't change. Good point, Mom! Laundry needed to get done - plain and simple.
These days, we do have options. Probably more than we could ever imagine. Just go back in time and you can appreciate how many choices technology has given us today.
Recently, I heard a song, Options by Gomez. Quirky band and quirky song but interesting lyrics and fun beat, though kinda cheesy :) YouTube it sometime.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYApHEUCs8s
It seems that when we are overwhelmed, whether it be with our finances, job, marriage, kids, extended family, etc. we often feel backed into a corner. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when the stress keeps piling up.
I am always so amazed when I hear stories of people who have undergone horrific experiences or receive heartbreaking and devastating news. I know some wonderful people like this, who inspite of their situations, manage to keep on moving ahead in their daily walk. How can that be?
From what I can tell, a common thread seems to be a positive attitude. Not to say they don't get down and depressed from time to time, but they refuse to stay down.
The cynic might well say, "Well, what's that going to get you? That and 50 cents will buy you a cup of coffee." That well-known idiom pretty much translates into - what a waste of time. There is no end of people that will agree with that statement. I've probably said it myself in my darkest moments, but I've since learned to think differently. Now, I can truthfully say . . . you go right ahead and think that but my experiences have been teaching me . . . "We DO have options . . . we may not like them or they may not look like we thought they would but they are there, none the less."
Often, someone else's perspective can make the world of difference. I can't tell you how many times I have been in a situation (stewing on it) and have, out of frustration, simply asked my husband, "What do you think? What would you do? or Why do you think they are doing that? or What is going on?" Sometimes, the answer is right in front of my face, but I can't see it for all the stress.
I don't always like his suggestions but often they make great sense or just get me thinking. That has often led to some significant changes - and very positive ones, I'd like to add. Whichever approach I take, it eventually becomes apparent that, "Oh, wow - I'm not without some choices, here."
Often it isn't the mountains ahead
that wear you out, it's the little pebble
in your shoe.”
Muhammad Ali
May we suggest you consider
taking the pepple out of your shoe? (Sounds like a "DUH" comment - but it's amazing how many people look past the obvious in their frusrated state.)
Not everyone has great advice or even any advice, but sometimes just talking about it out loud with someone can remind you that there are people out there that care about you. That can be huge for lots of people - trying to handle something on your own and feeling like you can't see the trees for the forest (code for being so focused on the details that you lose sight of the big picture).
It's always hard to see people going through tough times alone and refusing a helping hand. We don't have all the answers but there's something reassuring about having a shoulder or a listening ear. I know there are a boat load of people who just won't share their struggles with another living soul (and that sometimes comes with good cause). Men often fit into this category. It can be hard or even embarrasing to make oneself vulnerable. Tough road to travel alone.
It may not always
have been some
people's experience,
but for me, my faith has been key to how I deal with tough situations. It has been very reassuring for me, especially when things have made me anxious beyond belief. Time spent in prayer has made me realize, I do have options. Things became clear in ways that might never have occurred to me otherwise.
Seeing a therapist or joining a support group are other practical ways that people have received help to make sense out of the nonsensical. Insightful books, friends going through similar situations, speaking to specialists that deal with the areas of the concern, etc. can be helpful tools. It's easy to get in a headspace where we feel incredibly alone in our situation - but chances are very good that many others have gone through something similar.
Some of my friends with terminal illnesses have shared that in their difficult journey, they have learned a lot about themselves, their options, and how to adapt their thinking to their situation. Many have experienced deep grief for what they no longer had or would have. They've developed an appreciation for things that most people take for granted (or complain about). One person told me, "There are worst things in the world than dying. Being alone and feeling no one cares is horrible. I'm grateful that is not me. I have a ton of caring friends and family. I feel sorry for those people. I don't feel sorry for me." Interesting perspective.
One of my sisters works for Victims Services. They provide hands on support for those undergoing a crisis as a result of an accident, suicide, or other kinds of tragic events. She arrives at the scene (often in the wee hours of the morning) with an RCMP officer and stays in contact with the victim or the family until they feel they no longer have need of her services. This can take a very long time for some. Often, those going through traumatic situations experience a wide range of emotions and having someone like my sister, to step in and walk along side them as they work through their grief is incredible. Not knowing what to do when your mind is numb is especially stressful - having someone who is experienced with the legal/court system, counselling services and other resources, or makes themselves available even to talk or vent, is important. Support, whether it's offered or sought out, can be a huge step on the path to finding closure. My sister's job is not to "fix" the situation, but to help the victims and/or their families take time to find the brick's to rebuild their lives. It is important to empower them so they can move forward and try to re-gain control of their lives again. 
Maybe, having options really can be about changing our perspective (or attitude). There was a time, when I wouldn't have believed that or appreciated hearing that, but I've come to discover over time, sometimes, it's just that simple. Maybe not easy, but simple. Over-thinking things has been the ruin of many a situation.
"Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses."
Alphonse Karr
I certainly don't want to undermine anyone's situation . . . everyone has their journey. What is a concern to one, may not be a big deal to another. However, that doesn't diminish its importance. Some things in life are often not easy or clear cut - for those struggling with mental illness, having a strong support system is important.
Someone once told me, "When the situation seems unbearable, run!" I thought she meant run from the problem - but she actually meant, RUN. Her experience was that intense exercise could be very therapeutic - sitting around fretting,
eventually drains you and keeps you from going anywhere - physically and mentally. I imagine, it doesn't have to be just running - anything that gets you really moving . . . swimming, power walking, bouncing on a rebounder, etc. can be yet another helpful tool.
Food for Thought:
Erma Bombeck
Thinking you never have options, is a little the same. While there is a time and a place for the rocker, eventually you need to get off of it and strap on those walking shoes. You've got places to go and things to work out!
See you next week!
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thisblogreallystinksperfume.blogspot.comShare; thepaintedhived.com; designingachampionblog.com;
babv-lovers.forumotion.net; commons.wikimedia.org; thesunshineafterdark.wordpress.com; motifake.com
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