Not sure if you are like me, but when things don't make sense, I find it very hard to go along with them. That's not to say that I have to understand them, but if they rub me the wrong way because they are illogical or unfair, then . . . I feel like a fish swimming up stream - F R U S T R A T E D .
Alice in Wonderland - one annoying movie, in my estimation. I suppose there is a story line but when you have to listen to songs or watch movies almost to the end before they make any sense. . . they're not a keeper. Even as a kid, I disliked that movie. Thank goodness this wasn't one that my kids insisted on replaying until the cows came home.
Being in an environment with mean or uncompassionate people is difficult. I really don't get why people are mean on purpose. Nor, why it's so hard for some people to empathize with others. Most of those kinds of people don't seem to see that flaw (or any, actually) in themselves. Sometimes, they are even the first to point an accusing figure at others. Go figure. Check this video out. How would you handle this if it were you or your daughter? http://www.godvine.com/Girl-Voted-The-Ugliest-Woman-on-YouTube-Makes-a-Heartfelt-Video-1464.html#.UJXdPaJsL20.facebook (not sure if right clicking on this link and going to 'copied address' at the top will get you there.)
I am not a big believer in change for the sake of change, so when I am prompted by others to do that, it has to make sense to ME. There have been times when I've been "asked" to make changes that would be in the best interest of others. I must say, those conversations generally don't go well. Considering my nature is one in which I tend to be looking out for the best interests of those around me anyway, I'm generally pretty confident in saying, "NO" when I don't agree. That doesn't always sit well with those in authority. One has to be prepared to "be shown the door" when you take a stand like that. That's happened. At the time, it's was hard to understand or wrap my head around but as time went on, I've been able to be ok with it, and in hindsight, I'm glad I stood my ground and didn't back down.
Recently, I was at a seminar and a thought was shared. For me, it was one of those "ah ha" moments. A kids' behaviour is their way of telling you "something". I guess that notion never really occured to me. When I mentioned the idea to another person, they simply stated, "Well, that's obvious." Maybe, but maybe not. We can make wrong assumptions based on our experiences with other kids. Sounds simple (and obvious) enough but we've all seen kids behave badly time and time again and comments such as, "he's spoiled," "he's an only child," or "he doesn't know how to share" are conclusions that are easy to come to. But, what if it's none of those? Maybe, we are just too quick to make a call without thoroughly probing the behaviour. If you don't know what's going on in their head (or behind closed doors) it's easy enough to get it wrong. It's also easy enough to lose our patience or blow them off.
Watching children that are full of life and unaware that their home situations are different from others is sad. Seeing that they are not cared for or loved as they should be is heartbreaking. You want to just shake those parents - how can they not see or care?
This week, a wonderful young gal that I knew, died unexpectedly. She had a bubbly personality and an everpresent smile. Why that happened may always be a mystery. When a young life is extinguished, no matter what the reason, it is hard to process.
Injustice is everywhere. Sadness is everywhere. Pain is everywhere. If anyone says they don't experience it, maybe they don't . . . because they are the ones creating it.
I have to remember that when I see unfair situations . . . what I see, may not always be the whole story. We always seem to assume the very worst . . . myself included.
Having said that, I've seen people unfairly accused only to have the story set straight years later. But, what a journey for those that are dragged down it.
I think that whatever the situation, fair or not, there is always something to be learned. Often those lessons make no sense at the time. Sometimes, it's a very long time before they become clear.
If we become cynical and hard-hearted, it's generally not a good lesson we take away from it. Like it or not, I think we always take a lesson away from our situation - it just may not always be apparent to us at the time. Very few of us have the wisdom to being able to see the positive in the negative right off the get go. Whether it's good or bad/sad is to be seen. If we choose to see some redeeming lesson in our pain, it eventually seems comes to us. 
No one gets a free ride in life - pain, hurt, and death are inevitable. Yet, we always seem shocked or confused when they come our way. Why is that? Do we live in a bubble or try to protect our families from the harsh realities of life, too often? Whether we are there or not, kids do get picked last for teams in the school yard, not everyone gets equal playing time on sports teams, our kids may never make honour roll (no matter how hard they try), etc. Seems to me, it would be better for everyone, if we gave them tools to handle those "harsh realities" rather than insulating them. But, that's just me.
We can't live our lives avoiding . . . "life" - because it will happen, whether we like it or not. Whether it makes sense, or not. Like the weather - it rains, it snows, the wind blows, the sun shines. It's beyond our control but ultimately, we just deal with whatever comes our way. The same with crazy or awful situtations.
I have friends that feel there is a black cloud following them around all their lifes. Not so, but people can sometimes talk themselves into anything. So remember that . . . if you can talk yourself into anything, then you may well be able to talk yourself out of it, too. You don't always have to understand something 100% to take control of your part of the situation.
Surround yourself with encouraging people, not discouraging ones. Those that have a good head on their shoulders can help you make sense out of hard situations. We shake our heads and wonder what we could have done differently. Sometimes, there's not a thing we could have done to change things. Learning to live for today, appreciate what we have, and realize that while our time today may be in a dark valley . . . nothing ever stays the same for long. We eventually get to the mountain top again. A good reason to live in the moment because the reverse holds true, too. Appreciate where you are. That's how life rolls. Like or not.Food for Thought:
One little girl, who is very grateful
that her parents decided that
even though their situation didn't make sense,
she did!
See you next week for my Challenge #29!!
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