Have you ever met someone that has a story that has struck you as incredibly moving or sad? You may even have them stuck in your mind and find yourself thinking about their situation over and over. It could even be someone that you've never met, but their story gets shared with you. Recently, I had that very experience. A Dad in his early 40's. He had moved to this country to find work so he could support his young family back home. He lived with friends from his birth country and worked long hard hours at a minimum wage paying job. He never complained - he was very thankful to have work and a paycheque. Sometime later, he developed cancer - an unusual cancer, no less.
He continued to work, when he could, while undergoing treatments. Then came the heartbreaking news - there would be nothing more the medical staff could do for him. They suggested he go back to his home to put his affairs in order and say his good-byes to his family. He was not expected to live out the week. Almost immediately, his close friends and some of his co-workers made plans for a farewell potluck that would be followed by a small church service. My son shared a few of the details with me. The dinner conversation was lively and jovial, but as the evening wore on, the tone became sadder and sadder. The next day, he boarded a plane for his home country. He went home to say good-bye to his wife and children and to ... die. How sad is that? I couldn't stop thinking about this man and envisioned his flight home . . . leaning against a cold hard window, staring out into space, and helplessly reflecting on his final days. How would I handle it, if I were handed this news? The reality is that my family would have spent huge amounts of money exhausting every possibility "out there". People like this fellow, often don't have those options.
Some time back, I was enjoying a nice hot cup of coffee in a local fast food hangout, waiting for my friend to arrive. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that something was going on at the till. As I watched the scene unfold, I could see the customer's flailing arms and hear his voice getting louder and louder. Clearly he was angry. He was insisting that he wanted to order "breakfast" and was not at all interested in hearing the server's explaination that they were now serving lunch (and had been for over an hour). The gal behind the counter was polite but firm. The customer, whose blood was boiling and threatening to pop a vein in his red face, ranted and raved about how uneducated she obviously was and that she was stupid and clearly didn't know a thing about customer service. He would report her and she could kiss her job good-bye. Seeing the effect it had on the young server, he finished off his tyrade with some colourful sexist comments and stormed off.
At that moment, I didn't just see the young gal standing there, but a person who could easily have been my own daughter. It upsets me to think that people are so full of themselves that they feel it is their right to humiliate people who are ... just doing their job. How would he have handled that, if their roles had been reversed? Or better yet, how would he have re-acted watching someone humiliate his own daughter that way?
I'm sure there are moments in everyone's life that makes them wonder why people do what they do, re-act the way they do, and question how they would respond if put into the exact same situation. I don't think we appreciate the privileges that come with having a good education, being financial comfortable, having decent working conditions, and good health. A change in any of those circumstances can send you for a loop, if you are not prepared.
Sometimes there isn't much people can do about their circumstances, but sometimes there is. Years ago, I had the opportunity to spend time at the Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C. What an experience. As we toured through the facility, watched the videos, examined the memorabelia . .. I was struck at how the survivors of this horrific experience were able to later function when the war came to an end. I suspect many did not cope well at all. However, the impression we were left with was that through the ordeal . . . they never gave up hope that they would be rescued from their circumstances. Every day was lived intentionally with the mindset that the end would one day be in sight and that they WOULD live to see it. Amazing. We can only imagine how truly depraved their living conditions actually were and how desperate they must have become to survive. It horrifies me that so many lives ended in such brutal ways. It is incredibly heartbreaking to think how awful it would be to see your loved ones taken away, never to be seen again. How would I have re-acted if that were me?
We will all face injustices and frustrations with family, friends, neighbours, bosses, etc. It's easy to forget all the good stuff going on in our lives when the annoying things take over. But . . .they will always be there. So, what do we do about them? Life lessons are everywhere but if we can remove ourselves from our own pain or possibly, our personal pity parties for a little bit, we might see that there could be something we can take away from the experience. That's why I love hanging out with my hubby, when I'm having a lousy day - he's always such a calming person to vent to. The challenge is to listen to him. Sometimes, I need to vent first, but then the voice of reason, generally kicks in. It's probably a lot easier to see those lessons when we are sitting a restaurant watching somone else acting badly or hearing sad circumstances of others' situations, isn't it? Then, we are sometimes moved to act, defend the underdog, donate to the cause, or step up to the plate and make a difference.
I'm thinking that we seldom are moved to re-act in a positive way when we are the one in the middle of "it". Maybe, that's the time to stop and breathe and step back. If we are hearing someone saying things like, "You're not listening," or "Calm down!" - hmmm - or we are seeing visually upset faces on those that we are talking to . . . then, maybe we are in one of those moments that should be making us think. Sometimes, just evaluating the situation (or talking to someone whose opinion you trust - and not just expecting them to validate our side of the story) can make us stop and think.
Remember, every coin has two sides.
It's also not unlike looking at a droopy plant. We check the soil, conclude
it needs some water, deal with it and it springs back to life. Now, I realize that not everything in life is that straightforward and easy to solve ... but most things in life don't need to overwhelm us either. When you see things happening that touch your compassionate side - think how much nicer it would be if you could do something that would bring hope to that person. Often, in our generosity, we are the one that benefits the most.
Food for Thought:
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He continued to work, when he could, while undergoing treatments. Then came the heartbreaking news - there would be nothing more the medical staff could do for him. They suggested he go back to his home to put his affairs in order and say his good-byes to his family. He was not expected to live out the week. Almost immediately, his close friends and some of his co-workers made plans for a farewell potluck that would be followed by a small church service. My son shared a few of the details with me. The dinner conversation was lively and jovial, but as the evening wore on, the tone became sadder and sadder. The next day, he boarded a plane for his home country. He went home to say good-bye to his wife and children and to ... die. How sad is that? I couldn't stop thinking about this man and envisioned his flight home . . . leaning against a cold hard window, staring out into space, and helplessly reflecting on his final days. How would I handle it, if I were handed this news? The reality is that my family would have spent huge amounts of money exhausting every possibility "out there". People like this fellow, often don't have those options. Some time back, I was enjoying a nice hot cup of coffee in a local fast food hangout, waiting for my friend to arrive. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that something was going on at the till. As I watched the scene unfold, I could see the customer's flailing arms and hear his voice getting louder and louder. Clearly he was angry. He was insisting that he wanted to order "breakfast" and was not at all interested in hearing the server's explaination that they were now serving lunch (and had been for over an hour). The gal behind the counter was polite but firm. The customer, whose blood was boiling and threatening to pop a vein in his red face, ranted and raved about how uneducated she obviously was and that she was stupid and clearly didn't know a thing about customer service. He would report her and she could kiss her job good-bye. Seeing the effect it had on the young server, he finished off his tyrade with some colourful sexist comments and stormed off. At that moment, I didn't just see the young gal standing there, but a person who could easily have been my own daughter. It upsets me to think that people are so full of themselves that they feel it is their right to humiliate people who are ... just doing their job. How would he have handled that, if their roles had been reversed? Or better yet, how would he have re-acted watching someone humiliate his own daughter that way?
I'm sure there are moments in everyone's life that makes them wonder why people do what they do, re-act the way they do, and question how they would respond if put into the exact same situation. I don't think we appreciate the privileges that come with having a good education, being financial comfortable, having decent working conditions, and good health. A change in any of those circumstances can send you for a loop, if you are not prepared.
We will all face injustices and frustrations with family, friends, neighbours, bosses, etc. It's easy to forget all the good stuff going on in our lives when the annoying things take over. But . . .they will always be there. So, what do we do about them? Life lessons are everywhere but if we can remove ourselves from our own pain or possibly, our personal pity parties for a little bit, we might see that there could be something we can take away from the experience. That's why I love hanging out with my hubby, when I'm having a lousy day - he's always such a calming person to vent to. The challenge is to listen to him. Sometimes, I need to vent first, but then the voice of reason, generally kicks in. It's probably a lot easier to see those lessons when we are sitting a restaurant watching somone else acting badly or hearing sad circumstances of others' situations, isn't it? Then, we are sometimes moved to act, defend the underdog, donate to the cause, or step up to the plate and make a difference.
I'm thinking that we seldom are moved to re-act in a positive way when we are the one in the middle of "it". Maybe, that's the time to stop and breathe and step back. If we are hearing someone saying things like, "You're not listening," or "Calm down!" - hmmm - or we are seeing visually upset faces on those that we are talking to . . . then, maybe we are in one of those moments that should be making us think. Sometimes, just evaluating the situation (or talking to someone whose opinion you trust - and not just expecting them to validate our side of the story) can make us stop and think.
Remember, every coin has two sides.
it needs some water, deal with it and it springs back to life. Now, I realize that not everything in life is that straightforward and easy to solve ... but most things in life don't need to overwhelm us either. When you see things happening that touch your compassionate side - think how much nicer it would be if you could do something that would bring hope to that person. Often, in our generosity, we are the one that benefits the most.
Food for Thought:
Apathy
HAPPENS
WHEN WE STOP
COUNTING
OUR BLESSINGS.
See you next week!
Images by: fanpop.com; visualphotos.com; southtownstar.suntimes.com; washingtondc-eventskr.com; kazzsjourney.tumblr.com; ehow.com; angrycustomeronTwitter; thecoolgadgets.com
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