STEPPING OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE - FINAL BLOG

So what is this all about?  Well - after a great deal of soul searching, sleepless nights, dialogues with those close to me, and a lot of prayer . . . I've decided that this is going to be a year of drastic changes for me.   If you've read the end of my Challenge #40 - that was the clincher for me.

First Change: 

 

I have loved doing my blog (although it is incredibly time-consuming) . . . and while I am not a quitter, just because things get hard or busy - I've decided to hang up my blogging "pen".  After evaluating what is on my plate and will be added to that plate. . . it just makes good sense to make some changes . . . even to things I enjoy.  I've appreciated the many kind things people have shared with me via private message, e-mails and in person.  I realize that I am nearing the end of my 55 Challenges, but life is getting so busy for me and I have a lot of things to process in the next while.

   

 

Second Change:

I'm leaving my job.  THAT decision came with mixed feelings, because I find a great deal of satisfaction working with the ELL (English Language Learning) students and their parents.  We've had so much fun (and that's not an understatement either) and it's been wonderful being a part of their learning and integration into the Canadian school system. 

 

I have parents in BC that have been struggling with health isuses and working in this program has, at times given me flexibility to go and help them out - but not enough.  I've had terrific siblings that have moved mountains to be available for them and I feel I need to make more time for larger periods of time to do my share.  

Third Change:

 

I'm going back to school!   Can I tell you how much that has sparked dialogue!  lol 

"Are you out of your mind?" 
"Holy Cow - you are already old!  Think how old you will be when you finish!" 
"Why?  You have it ALL right now ... that's crazy!"
"That's wonderful!  You will be great at whatever you do!"
"For Pete's Sake, your kids are finally going to be out of the house - now you can travel!" 
"Your husband is going to retire soon enough - why would you waste your time and money at this point in your life?" 
"You will be going to school with all those young kids!  That would be so hard!" 
"What if you fail?" 
"Can't you do something easier?"

and so on and so on.  Can't lie to you . . . I've had my moments of discouragement and wondered if I wasn't, in fact, losing my mind or making the wrong decision.   But - then, my husband or someone else brings me back.  I suspect I'll have a few of those, "Oh, WOW - what HAVE I DONE?" moments down the road.  I guess that is part of the "unknown".  If doing the unknown was always easy, more people would probably try it.

 

Personally, I've never felt that going back to school while my kids were in school, was even a consideration for me.  I don't have any views on that for other families (we all have to do what works for our own families) but I've just never felt for me, that was how I wanted to raise my kids.  I've appreciated the freedoms and opportunities I've had with being at home with my gang while they were in school.  Working as support staff in the school system has allowed me to have holidays and professional development days off with my kids.  It was a great compromise.  Now that my "baby" is graduating from high school and off to university, I am free to try something new.  Time for change. 

I haven't totally decided what path I will take or which university.  At this point, I am not interested in a large university - so I may begin with St. Mary's or Ambrose.  A Bachelor of Arts - Behavioural Sciences / Psychology is the route I am looking.  Teaching?  Not sure - that's 6 years and I personally think that 6 years might be overkill for me.  I love ELL and probably would like to use my degree in that direction.  But who knows . . . this might just start out simply as a year of transition.  There's lots to consider so we shall see how it all unfolds.

 

 

Some time back, someone once said to me, when I was waffling on doing a particular thing . . . "Cat!  In 5 years you will be 50.  You can be 50 and have something to show for it or be 50 and not.  But, either way -  in 5 years, you will STILL BE 50! So, you might as well do it!"  Isn't that the truth!  By the way - I did do it!

 

I recall years ago, Oprah coming up with the catchy phrase - 50 is the new 40.  I laughed because I thought that was how she was dealing with hitting that milestone.  But, as I've thought about it . . . I realized that she was actually quite right.  Providing you are in good shape. 

I recall reading a book (and the name escapes me, though it is my book closet somewhere) about the Baby Boomers that are retiring.  It showed a picture of the author (in his 50's) along side a picture of his grandpa when he was in his 50's.  What a shocker! 

The author's grandpa had not aged well.  He looked tired and worn out.  The premise of the writing was that today - many people don't want to (or can't afford to) retire when they reach the coveted "55".  Those that are in good health and are fit, have little desire to hand in their resignation.  They are wanting to keep working or keep active as long as they can.  In our grandparents days, work was often much more physical and the idea of working past those "magic numbers" was almost unthinkable.  They WERE tired.  They were very ready to take it easy and enjoy their retirement years.  Oddly enough, statistics show that people aren't actually living significantly longer - but they are living differently.  This generation does seem to have more money than previous generations and are able to live quite a more affluent lifestyle, if they choose to - travel, new cars and bigger homes, etc.  They aren't necessarily eating better (compliments of fast food and more disposable income).  

So, it does make sense - if one eats well, has good health, stays fit, and manages the stress - those that are in their 40's are actually feeling much more like the old 30's, and the same with 60's being 50's, and 70's being 60's.   

 

I recall having breakfast with a man (in his 70's) and asking him how his retirement was going.  (I hope I haven't shared this story before, but if I have - he's a good reminder of my point.)  He was pretty candid about the lack of daily employment.  It sucked.  He was tired of painting walls, doing odds and ends, gardening, etc.  Every day was the same.  Boring.  His wife was not able to travel much anymore as her unpredictable health wasn't conducive to long trips. He shared how, one day while he was having coffee, he came across a tiny ad in one of the local newspapers.  Apparently, this small business was looking for someone to fill a part time position - one that, coincidentally, he had no qualifications for.  He threw caution to the wind and applied.  Low and behold, they hired him.  He was over the moon.  He would be working during the week - 11 am. to 2 pm.  He was given a parking spot, a cell phone, a credit card and more importantly, a new lease on life! To date he has been there for 5 years and still loves it!  He misses rush hour traffic, enjoys a small, but meaningful paycheque, and best of all, has a reason to get up in the morning. 

 

 

Since sharing my "news", I have had a number of people remind me that:


I am not a spring chicken and that I actually have Grandchildren (true - and guess what -my 5 year old grand-daughter will start her new adventure at school in September, and so will I!)

I am at the age of retirement and pension (true - but I just found out that I qualify for a small pension back from before I had kids - I am now collecting and it's going to pay for my schooling!  Yahoo!)

Life isn't always about me and that my family needs me (true - but this time - it is about me!!!! Double yahoo!!)

I will no longer qualify for my great health care plan at work (true - BUT now I can take time off during the school year to go to Israel with my Mother-in-Law and enjoy the health benefits of floating in the Dead Sea!)

I have lots of plans for the next few years that probably wouldn't happen, if I still worked BUT they will fit in with my school schedule - I can go on my grand-daughter's field trips, I can visit my parents longer, I can travel to Ireland (my dream destination), I can sub on my free days for my current school program, I can go on business trips with my husband, I can take a trip to a struggling part of the world to help build something that will have a positive impact on a village, etc. 
 
Whatever I decide to try out at school might just end up being way more work than I actually feel I am prepared to do . . . or end up looking differently than I originally envisioned, but, that's ok, too. You don't know what something is like until you try it.  So, who knows where I will end up.  It's kind of exciting to think of all the possibilities and adventures out there and that I get to decide what I will try.

If we have the health, the money, and the time, what's really stopping us?  One day, you may be at the same place I'm at.  Maybe not.  Not everyone has "unfinished business" or a desire to try something new.  That's ok but if you do find yourself one day. . . wondering . . . think of me and know that you won't be the only one! 

We can always find the money, we can always the time, we can always find the way . . . IF it's something you really want to do.  I don't think we even have to have a master plan or a bucket list . . . sometimes life just happens along the way.

  Food for Thought:

Thanks for coming along this past year for my Challenges - I've learned an awful lot . . .

* we always have options
* we can sometimes be our own biggest
  roadblocks
* having challenges is a good thing - we
  never know what we are capable of
  until we get out of our comfort zone
  and try
* I am fearfully and wonderfully made -
  what I choose to do with those gifts is
  up to me. 
* Having integrity is important!   And, so
  are faith, family and friends!  

See you somewhere along my journey(s)!!!!

Cat

 

 

 

 

 

 

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TO SPEAK OR NOT TO SPEAK - CHALLENGE 41!

We might all have something to say but when it comes to voicing it outloud . . . that's a whole different matter.  We have to be prepared to explain ourselves for what we've shared and many are not interesting in going down that path.  Maybe that is why social media sites like Facebook and Twitter are so popular.  You can be somewhat anonymous about your stands.  Some would say that is a cowardly way to express opinions . . . maybe, but it also gives people a safe way to have a voice. 


Taking a stand when it's not a popular view, can set one up for some very uncomfortable moments. Sometimes, one can be typecast as being a mouthpiece or as a difficult person.  I know this from personal experience.   :) 

Years back, I recall being warned by a close family member to be careful about voicing concerns - some people may take exception and there could be repercussions. I've also been cautioned by co-workers over the years to be quiet and go with the flow to avoid having my job put in jeopardy. Deciding when to speak out and when not to isn't always easy but then again, for some, it's very easy. They say what's on their minds and throw caution to the wind every time they open their mouth.  Some might consider them blowhearts or fools.  Sometimes they are.  We all know people who have an opinion on everything and anything.

 

Most people who know me, THINK that I am all about speaking out or saying what's on my mind, all the time. Actually, that's not really the case - I've always been somewhat of a people watcher and so, it's easy for me to see situations, simply by paying attention.  When I see bullies, unfair situations, or good reasons to change how things are happening, I must admit, I speak out.   I can tell you, . . . I'm often not the popular person on the block when that happens. 

That has often been either one of my biggest flaws or one of my best attributes.  Somedays, it's hard to say which it is.  Someone recently shared with me that I am setting myself to get my hands slapped and that I needed to keep quiet.  I just smiled and said, "Thanks for caring but I have never been one to go along with things that don't make sense."  That's totally true but then again, there can be a price to be paid for that.  Most aren't willing to pay the price - especially if it means a loss of income. 

 

And, really . . . I'm not talking about anything earth shattering . . . for me - it's often speaking out on other people's behalf.  A language barrier can often be an issue.  When one sees that something like this impacts on an event or situation, being an advocate is huge for that person.  Miscommunications often result and speaking out can avoid problems. Sometimes, we don't realize that a few simple changes can make the difference in something going well or not.  I've always felt that we should all be mindful of roadblocks that are out there for others and that we should do whatever we can, to remove them or at the very least, help them maneuver around them.  Taking a course at university made me appreciate that sometimes it's the little things that we can do that make the biggest differences.

Personally, my spin on most things is that often others really aren't aware of what we might be doing, may actually be creating hardships for others. Shedding a little light on the situation can often make others realize how things can be stumbling blocks for others.  Rather than being defensive about "how it's always been done" or "that someone went to all this work" . . . it's an insightful person who says, "Oh, I had no idea.  I guess it does make sense to modify that, doesn't it?"  Can't say that I have had total success with speaking out but, I know that I have had some. I'm ok with that. 

I've always told my kids that it's important to stand up and speak up or sit down and shut up.  Rambling on for the sake of rambling on, isn't what I'm talking about.  Sometimes, there are times when you have to speak out.  Respectfully, too.  Everyone is entitled to have their two cents.  Sometimes we have to agree to disagree and move on.  I know that I've had discussion with people and have totally been in disagreement with them, but that shouldn't affect my relationship or respect for them as individuals.  Though, it can be tense for a while, we have to work through our annoyances and frustrations with them and remind ourselves that its the situation that is the issue. Putting that on the table is what is the point, not them as people. 

I recall two situations years ago . . . one being a fellow who was filling up his car with gas near my house.  While waiting for the tank to be filled . . . he took his ashtray and dumped a few dozen cigarette butts onto the ground.  I was annoyed.  I walked over to him and asked him if he lived in the neighbourhood.  Surprised, he said, "No."  I told him that I did and that I wouldn't go into his neighbourhood and do that.  He just stared at me and asked if it really was that big a deal.  I told him that was not something I would teach my kids to do.  He smirked and said, "How nice for  you.  Me either."  I said back, "Well ... actually, you just did," and pointed to his kids in the car.  He stared at me and walked away. 

  I shudder to think what was going through his mind but I was glad I had spoken up - I had made my point ... even, if he didn't like it.  Funny how people don't like being called to task on things. Their first re-action is usually a negative one, eh?

The other, was a teen who was sitting in his car eating a hamburger near my house.  Aren't you glad you don't live in my neighbourhood . . . lol.  He rolled down his window and chucked the leftover burger and wrapping onto the ground.  I yelled at him.  "Hey!  Get out here right now!"  He did and stepped out of his car.  I just about had a stroke when I saw he towered about a foot over me.  I looked up at him and said, "I am sure that your Mom has taught you not to litter.  Pick that up right now and put it in the garbage."  Maybe, the element of surprise was on my side (or my guardian angel) but he did.  I thanked him and walked on.   Now - I get that most people wouldn't probably care or do that, but that's not me.  I probably could have done that in a much nicer way (and honestly, these days, I have learned it's better not to get all psycho in how we make our point). 

That is my challenge . . . not to stop sharing my concerns, but to keep it at a level that is respectful and handled well.  Sometimes, it means that we might end up having to apologize for how we went about it . . . that's always good, too.  For the times we don't handle it well, we do need to acknkowledge that.  But - taking time to think of how we are making our point is probably a better way to go.  The goal is not to humiliate or create a worse situation.  The goal is to enlighten and make good changes. 

Food for Thought:

  See you next week!







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LIMITED TIME - ARE YOU WASTING IT? - CHALLENGE #40

“Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”           

                         Steve Jobs

Right now, one of my sons is at that place in his life.  Graduating high school and trying to figure out what he should do with his life . . . he is hearing advice here, there and everywhere.  Still, nothing is jumping out at him.   

We've always tried to encourage our kids to do something with their lives that brings them satisfaction and fulfillment. Even, when you love your job, you will still have some days that just are long and boring.   But, when you find yourself in a job you didn't choose, despise or dread going to ... everyday may well be long and boring.  Fifty years of that isn't too exciting and surely doesn't get your adrenalin pumping.

Even those of us that are adults . . . what a drag when you feel you are just another cog in the wheel. We all like to think that anything is possible - no matter where we are in our life circumstances and no one wants to be reminded how much their life sucks, do they?  Every once in a while, you bump into people who are just bubbling over about the incredible state of their affairs as they ramble on and on about their fantastic lives and their fantastic kids, their fantastic marriages, their fantastic holidays, their fantastic this and their fantastic that.  One of two things, often happens in that case ...

you find that old green monster popping up or you start beating yourself up. 

I'm not really sure why we figure everyone else has it all figured out and that we are somehow lacking or missing out on something.  The longer I live and the more people I get to really know, the more I realize that there are an awful lot of lonely and lost people out there.  So many are trying so hard to fit in and appear to have it all together - to the point, they are not even being true to themselves.  Peer pressure can exist at every stage in  your life. For sure, some people are good at presenting a certain (or expected) image but eventually things start to go south for them, too.  Look at all those models, athletes, movie stars and singers that dump their families, crash and burn, or take their lives.  It's hard keeping up with a lifestyle image that isn't built on truth.  Same can hold true for us everyday run-of-the-mill mortals.

On a positive note, there are those that do have a joy and passion for what they have or are doing.  There are lots of people out there to admire -and, in my humble opinion, the ones most worthy of being admired aren't celebrities but rather, those that probably live in your own neighhourhood, family, or workplace.  If you see someone that has the kinds of attributes that you admire, that's great, but why just admire them and wish away your life?  The only difference between them and you is that they have developed theirs.  Make the effort to do the same.  Then, you can look in the mirror and be proud of yourself and not wishing it was different for you. 

It's funny how many people you meet that whine.  Me included.  We don't like how this is being done.  We don't like how that is turning out.  We wish that we had gone back to school or changed jobs, so that we could do what we really wanted to do.  We want our kids to get focused and stay focused or our spouses to get on board with whatever we are planning. The paycheque sucks, our in-laws make us nuts, we can't stand our houses, we never go anywhere interesting, nothing ever goes right, we are continuously passed by for promotions, and on and on. 

I am in awe of the endless numbers of blogs and sites on the Internet dedicated to improving our life, our outlook and/or anything else that needs improving.  We can always learn a little (or a lot) from some of those sites.  But, they all seem to say the same thing.   Do it.  Just do it.  The problem is ... we don't do it but we expect things to change.  So, .... we whine or just stay in our misery.  I can be a patient person but I have my limits.  I've been known to SNAP when I've had enough and I find myself blurting out things like, "Really?  When are you going to stop whining about it and do something?"  Yes - I realize, I will never be asked to volunteer for some crisis hot line but . . . I think so many people out there, simply need to stop whining and do something.  Even one single thing can be the catalyst for change.  I suspect the Self Help books at the book store are often big sellers.  People buy them and have such high hopes only to lose interest in the book half way.  Or it gets read, keypoints are highlighted, but that's where it ends. Nothing changes. 


Maybe we don't even realize we are miserable or whining.  That happens.  Then, one day we wake up and as they say, "smell the coffee" and we have an epiphany.  At that point, we either truly become downhearted or say, "ENOUGH!  SOMETHING'S GOING TO CHANGE!"  I've always admired those that have done the latter.  So often, we get discouraged because we see so many road blocks.  I think that is when being disheartened happens.  Fear of the unknown.  Fear of failure.  Fear of people laughing at us.  What most people don't realize is, that more often than not, people admire those who do what others only wished they could do.  Sometimes, the one holding us back is . . . us.

It's the very few that decide that life is too short to waste it wishing away their life.  Nothing much changes until we decide it will.  So . . . now what?

I guess the ball is always in our court.  Some will say, "that's ok . . . I have come to a place where I'm ok with everything."  And, that's ok, too.  But, if you aren't and that little voice inside you says, "No.  Go for it.  Do it!"  Then, you need to find a way. There is no shame in being a LATE BLOOMER ... check these brave souls out:

Colonel Sanders - he was 65 when he started KFC.   

Ray Kroc - he was a milkshake machine sales man - at 52 (when most people are thinking of retiring) he began McDonalds.

Laura Ingalls Wilder became a writer in her forties and began writing the famous series, "Little House on the Prairie" when she was sixty-five.

Grandma Moses began her painting at 75.

Ben Hur was written by an American Govenor at the age of 53.

Golda Meir became the 4th prime minister of Israel at 70.


      Julia Child was 49 when
      her first cookbook was
      published.





Peter Mark Roget, a retired doctor, published the famous Roget's Thesaurus at the age of 73. 

At the age of 72, Oscar Swahn won an Olympic silver medal.

Henry Ford created the first car assembly line at 62. 

Food For Thought: 

Men do not quit playing
because they grow old;
they grow old

because they quit playing.

                          Oliver Wendell Holmes

It is never to late to be the person YOU were meant to be.

What are you waiting for?

See You Next Week!  15 More Challenges and then I'm done!

  

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