TO SPEAK OR NOT TO SPEAK - CHALLENGE 41!

We might all have something to say but when it comes to voicing it outloud . . . that's a whole different matter.  We have to be prepared to explain ourselves for what we've shared and many are not interesting in going down that path.  Maybe that is why social media sites like Facebook and Twitter are so popular.  You can be somewhat anonymous about your stands.  Some would say that is a cowardly way to express opinions . . . maybe, but it also gives people a safe way to have a voice. 


Taking a stand when it's not a popular view, can set one up for some very uncomfortable moments. Sometimes, one can be typecast as being a mouthpiece or as a difficult person.  I know this from personal experience.   :) 

Years back, I recall being warned by a close family member to be careful about voicing concerns - some people may take exception and there could be repercussions. I've also been cautioned by co-workers over the years to be quiet and go with the flow to avoid having my job put in jeopardy. Deciding when to speak out and when not to isn't always easy but then again, for some, it's very easy. They say what's on their minds and throw caution to the wind every time they open their mouth.  Some might consider them blowhearts or fools.  Sometimes they are.  We all know people who have an opinion on everything and anything.

 

Most people who know me, THINK that I am all about speaking out or saying what's on my mind, all the time. Actually, that's not really the case - I've always been somewhat of a people watcher and so, it's easy for me to see situations, simply by paying attention.  When I see bullies, unfair situations, or good reasons to change how things are happening, I must admit, I speak out.   I can tell you, . . . I'm often not the popular person on the block when that happens. 

That has often been either one of my biggest flaws or one of my best attributes.  Somedays, it's hard to say which it is.  Someone recently shared with me that I am setting myself to get my hands slapped and that I needed to keep quiet.  I just smiled and said, "Thanks for caring but I have never been one to go along with things that don't make sense."  That's totally true but then again, there can be a price to be paid for that.  Most aren't willing to pay the price - especially if it means a loss of income. 

 

And, really . . . I'm not talking about anything earth shattering . . . for me - it's often speaking out on other people's behalf.  A language barrier can often be an issue.  When one sees that something like this impacts on an event or situation, being an advocate is huge for that person.  Miscommunications often result and speaking out can avoid problems. Sometimes, we don't realize that a few simple changes can make the difference in something going well or not.  I've always felt that we should all be mindful of roadblocks that are out there for others and that we should do whatever we can, to remove them or at the very least, help them maneuver around them.  Taking a course at university made me appreciate that sometimes it's the little things that we can do that make the biggest differences.

Personally, my spin on most things is that often others really aren't aware of what we might be doing, may actually be creating hardships for others. Shedding a little light on the situation can often make others realize how things can be stumbling blocks for others.  Rather than being defensive about "how it's always been done" or "that someone went to all this work" . . . it's an insightful person who says, "Oh, I had no idea.  I guess it does make sense to modify that, doesn't it?"  Can't say that I have had total success with speaking out but, I know that I have had some. I'm ok with that. 

I've always told my kids that it's important to stand up and speak up or sit down and shut up.  Rambling on for the sake of rambling on, isn't what I'm talking about.  Sometimes, there are times when you have to speak out.  Respectfully, too.  Everyone is entitled to have their two cents.  Sometimes we have to agree to disagree and move on.  I know that I've had discussion with people and have totally been in disagreement with them, but that shouldn't affect my relationship or respect for them as individuals.  Though, it can be tense for a while, we have to work through our annoyances and frustrations with them and remind ourselves that its the situation that is the issue. Putting that on the table is what is the point, not them as people. 

I recall two situations years ago . . . one being a fellow who was filling up his car with gas near my house.  While waiting for the tank to be filled . . . he took his ashtray and dumped a few dozen cigarette butts onto the ground.  I was annoyed.  I walked over to him and asked him if he lived in the neighbourhood.  Surprised, he said, "No."  I told him that I did and that I wouldn't go into his neighbourhood and do that.  He just stared at me and asked if it really was that big a deal.  I told him that was not something I would teach my kids to do.  He smirked and said, "How nice for  you.  Me either."  I said back, "Well ... actually, you just did," and pointed to his kids in the car.  He stared at me and walked away. 

  I shudder to think what was going through his mind but I was glad I had spoken up - I had made my point ... even, if he didn't like it.  Funny how people don't like being called to task on things. Their first re-action is usually a negative one, eh?

The other, was a teen who was sitting in his car eating a hamburger near my house.  Aren't you glad you don't live in my neighbourhood . . . lol.  He rolled down his window and chucked the leftover burger and wrapping onto the ground.  I yelled at him.  "Hey!  Get out here right now!"  He did and stepped out of his car.  I just about had a stroke when I saw he towered about a foot over me.  I looked up at him and said, "I am sure that your Mom has taught you not to litter.  Pick that up right now and put it in the garbage."  Maybe, the element of surprise was on my side (or my guardian angel) but he did.  I thanked him and walked on.   Now - I get that most people wouldn't probably care or do that, but that's not me.  I probably could have done that in a much nicer way (and honestly, these days, I have learned it's better not to get all psycho in how we make our point). 

That is my challenge . . . not to stop sharing my concerns, but to keep it at a level that is respectful and handled well.  Sometimes, it means that we might end up having to apologize for how we went about it . . . that's always good, too.  For the times we don't handle it well, we do need to acknkowledge that.  But - taking time to think of how we are making our point is probably a better way to go.  The goal is not to humiliate or create a worse situation.  The goal is to enlighten and make good changes. 

Food for Thought:

  See you next week!







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